Beginning the New Year at Peace.

This time last year I didn't know the word transgendered, and probably hadn't put on anything feminine for months. If I had, I would have felt guilty and confused and not at all wanted to know, "what it means."

A year later, I don't "know what it means," but if I feel the urge I dress up, giggle a little and feel just fine about myself. New Year's Eve I was in my closet, Literally but not figuratively. There is a whole rod of really nice quality menswear, all purchased for $1 apiece now that I am an avid shopper of thrift stores. None of that was there a year ago. I didn't own a suit that fit. This is just a byproduct of my femme shopping. I had 3 ball gowns and a few cocktail dresses to choose from, and no place to go.

I wanted to try some on so I did. Some were purchased in the middle of my weight loss, so they are now a little too big. good news if that Dee has dieted down in to them.

I was probably 175 lbs this time last year, I am now adding fat to my diet to try to get back UP to 135 from a nadir of 124. I can do so many things better at this weight than I could carrying around the extra bulk. I used to think I was more masculine when I developed a little fat reserve added to my former runner's 4% (or less) body fat frame. Now as I see the real differences in my frame from even a woman of my same dress size, I feel very masculine, which distresses me not at all. I feel fortunate to be able to embrace my feminine side without denigrating my male side.

I look forward to what this year brings in self discovery.