New Driver's License.

I have a long history of difficulty with motor vehicle registration. Emission testing, lack of insurance, or other problems has me very wary of my surroundings and keeping cops off my six. I have driven 10's of thousands of miles with one missing document or the other. Sometimes this has cost me my license for extended periods. Having been legal in all respects for a couple of years now, I am loathe to give up my good citizen status if I can avoid it.

The mid-life crisis was due for new tags October 31st. I had my initial interview on that day. I drove up the night before and scooted 225 miles home on the last good day for the tags. Being pulled over for no good reason (which seems to happen to me an awful lot for a basically law abiding white guy) reinforced to me that that area is not a good way to flout the law.

6 weeks later my background check came back clean (surprising me most of all) and they finally scheduled a physical. A one month repair tag (allowed once in any 12 month period) got me there and back where I waited for a start date. By the time the human resources leviathan slowly ground out a start date for me that free pass had long expired. I lacked the money for even the emission testing that I knew would fail. My catalytic converted is clogged and the car only runs well because a bump took out part of the down pipe and the resultant exhaust leak has let it breathe again. I can't weld on a new one because my garage door is broken and I cant muscle my welder out past the junk out to where I could work on it. I had resolved to try emissions testing anyway, but ran out of time to do so. What I ended up doing was taking the title from one of my many spare cars of the same make that is currently our of service and getting a temporary tag for it. I slapped that in the window, knowing that if stopped, the VIN was not going to withstand scrutiny.

I resolved to break no laws on the way there, and to out run them if they (as per usual) attempted to again violate my civil rights with an illegal stop. Fortunately the two cops I did see had their hands full at the time.

I managed Friday during a brief time out when the family came to visit and I could bum a ride to that county's MVD office to get a new license. Again as per usual I lied about my weight. This time I was only off five pounds. I put 135. Two weeks ago I was 125, but a week of eating food designed for roughnecks on oil rigs has put me halfway back up to my goal.

With a valid residence in this barely populated county, no emission test is required. $55 later I am legal for two whole years. Hallelujah.