So it finally happened. My youngest boy that I have written about previously, wondering if like father like son he has any trans issues, has been indoctrinated by society about what is appropriate garb for a male.
In my last visit home, I was relaxing in a post coitus fog, when Dee reached for a bottle of a very summery-orange nail polish. This particular shade wasn't one I would have thought to pick, nor probably her. It came courtesy of a good friend who sent his stash when he decided he didn't want to dress anymore. She cradled a foot in her lap and began carefully applying the polish. It looked good, I thouhgt especially later when she pulled out my Charlotte Russe gold strappy sandal heels and placed them on my feet. We actually ended up getting pretty kinky with both the painted toes and the shoe it self. I don't think that Charlotte had devised them as either a marital aid or a workable paddle, but they did suit both purposes well, but I digress here.
I was down in the kitchen kneading some bread dough barefoot, when the boy happened to notice. Mind you, this is the same boy that DELIGHTS in wearing mom's (really mine) heels and his sisters dresses and a wig. "That's GROSS!!!!" he announced, pointing to my coppery orange toes.
"What?" I patiently and and innocently asked.
"Your toes!" he exclaimed. "They have fingernail polish on them! That's for girls!" he proclaimed and began in a singsong voice to ask.."Do you want to be a girl?"
"Who says polish is only for girls?" I ask.
"It just is." The nine-year-old persisted "Girls wear that."
The eleven year old tomboy who has been quietly talked to about teasing her brother shen he wears heels or a wig, surprised me by jumping in.
"What does it matter?" she asked "It's just paint."
She went on to mention without being hateful about it the times he has crossdressed and that its fun and that clothes don't mean anything. She pointed out that Scotts wear kilts. This last was interesting since I don't recall any of us pointing that out to her in any prior conversations.
I saw a bit of recognition in her eyes that she knew this was more than paint, but its hard to tell if I was projecting. Interesting how ingrained these gender roles are in our society. I doubt he and his friends have ever had a conversation about what is and isn't acceptable for a guy to wear, and I know that conversation never took place in our home, yet there the bias is.
I am back at the residence campus where I live with 500 other men, mostly pretty rough and rugged manly macho types in appearance anyway. I left the polish on. It contrasts nicely with my blue shower shoes.
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2 comments:
It's really interesting how little boys just seem to pick up on that. A friend gave my nephew a small bride doll when I was getting married. At 2 years old he used it like a GI Joe, killing things, flying it through the air and crashing with things. Still, at 5 he became absolutely enamored with the color pink. He wanted it to be the color of his room and my sister had to work hard to make sure nobody laughed at him or told him that pink was for girls. They compromised by painting his room superman colors, who he is a huge fan of, and getting him a pink playhouse, complete with pink curtains he chose himself.
Anyway, my point, like your son, sometimes he is inherently very much a boy, without being told to be so, and sometimes he likes pink... Your son will figure it out for himself, we all do eventually.
Glad you're posting again Barbara. I missed your writing.
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